Alright, that's it! I've had it! I know I told you to get out of my dreams and into my car. But I've changed my mind. I have that right, you know. I have that right as an American citizen. And boy am I glad that I do, because you are fuckin' annoying!

At first, it was cool, man. We were hanging out, listening to some tunes, and enjoying life on the road. I was taking control at the wheel, and you were in the backseat, baby. We were living life to its fullest: following Wham! on tour, eating at every Big Boy we came across, and making sure to stop for worship at whatever church we happened to pass on Sunday.

But those days are gone! This road trip is officially over!

Why? You're seriously asking me why? I can't believe you. You should know why! Aren't your surroundings answer enough? Look at my backseat, man! You done went and fucked it all up, brotha! The seats are totally ruined, and there are fast food wrappers and cups back there from Lord knows when! Look at this! There's a McD.L.T. styrofoam container back here, and McDonald's stopped using those when Reagan was still president! What the hell, man?!?

And no, that's not the only thing. You're also quite the... well, backseat driver! There, I said it! You suck! I know when I'm speeding, okay? I like to speed. And I don't need some ingrate telling me when I'm going too fast or taking a corner too sharply!

You're just horrible to be around! And you stink, too! And you never chip in for gas! Do you have any idea how much it costs to drive around for nearly two decades nonstop?!? Let me give you a hint: it's somewhere between a lot, and a whole fucking lot!

So that's it, man. Get out of my mind, get out of my life, get out of my dreams, and especially get the fuck out of my car, because it's gonna take some serious cleaning products and a miracle to get my upholstery back to what it once was!