I totally couldn’t whistle when I was a kid. It was embarrassing and very frustrating. Then, one day on Pee-wee’s Playhouse, Cowboy Morpheus was having a similar problem-- and he had Jheri curls to deal with, as well.

Pee-wee told him to pucker up, put his tongue behind his bottom teeth, and blow. And it totally worked! I tried it, too, and suddenly I was a whistlin' Dixie!

Wait. I might’ve fucked that up. Was it the other way around? Did Cowboy Morpheus teach Pee-wee to whistle? Ah,.. doesn’t matter. As thanks, I sent Pee-wee a picture of myself in only my tighty-whities. We still keep in touch.